It’s 4:30pm. You and your kids haven’t left your house all day. Naturally, the place looks like a tornado hit, you haven’t brushed your teeth, you’re still in the same shirt you were wearing yesterday (because sleeping in the same shirt you wore for the day is a total reality!), and your kids are covered in peanut butter remnants.
And hubby is comin’ home.
It’s time for the 30 minute mom hustle!
Before I go on, I feel compelled to preface this post with some important facts (because #internethaters are REAL):
- My husband is a very loving and accepting man. He gives me grace when the house is in shambles and all I can muster up for dinner is nuking frozen chicken nuggets. He doesn’t “make” me do anything or be anything other than who I am. BUT. He is the main bread winner of our family and works really hard to provide for all us. I am truly grateful for that! One of the ways I can show him love on a daily basis is to keep up the house and provide a calming and restful space for him to come home to. And I’d like him to still think I’m a good catch after all these years, ha! (Also he is an Acts of Service guy from the 5 Love Languages and literally feels love through my actions)
- I do brush my teeth regularly. Sometimes parenting is ROUGH. Like hide in the closet and shovel chocolate in your mouth rough and pray your husband gets home soon so he can deal with the circus. So yes, sometimes brushing my teeth doesn’t happen till 4:30pm. It is disgusting, I know. I don’t need reinforcement on that, mmkay? <3
- If you are one of those moms who has it together, can manage a spotless house, daily showers, and consistently provide a thriving educational environment for your babes (and adhere normal tooth brushing times), girl, high five. You give us all hope. This post isn’t for you. But you can certainly read it! It will just make you feel good about yourself! So maybe it is for you, too 😉
Okay formalities aside, let’s get to it!
A few weeks ago I was enjoying a group dinner with one of my favorite mamas, Christina. She gets me. We have a special bond over keeping it real. And by real I mean we can sort of cry yet belly laugh over the realities of being a mom of multiple kids. There is no conversation too inappropriate in our mom world!
So there we were swapping stories of how our kids pee anywhere but the toilet while eating our desserts.
Our conversation moved from potty training woes to our real life nasty habits as moms. Case in point: Not brushing our teeth some days till 4:30 pm because parenting toddlers is literally a ISH show.
As the confessions were rolling off my tongue, we laughed in unison as she nodded and counter confessed to being guilty of the same things on a regular basis.
And then I told her about my sneaky little mid-day habit.
Mind you, my husband was sitting right next to me, so I sorta kinda blew the whole sneaky thing out of the water, but it was well worth the laughs!
I went on to share stories of how once 4:30 pm comes around, a flip switches inside of me and I begin what I lovingly have come to call the 30-minute mom hustle.
Turns out, Christina does it, too!
And right then and there I said, “I should write a blog post about this for all the mamas like us.”
Well here goes nothin’ 😉
This is for all you mamas who are in the trenches with kids under 5 just hoping for a glimmer of light to magically appear.
I get you.
We get you.
You want that Pinterest worthy house with a sparklingly organized linen closet, but your reality is more like an explosion of Crayola primary colored covered walls and flashing toys. Deep cleaning and matching baskets just aren’t on your radar.
And matching cute jammies that are Insta story ready? Fat chance. I can hardly show my kids on Instagram Stories because they are ALWAYS naked. It doesn’t matter if I dress them. Those clothes just don’t stick.
But you don’t want your husband to come home every day to total madness.
So you accept the circus for the first 8 hours of the day and then at 4:30 pm you kick in the 30-minute mom hustle to get yo’ self together. Here is how it goes:
The 30 Minute Mom Hustle
4:30 pm: Turn on Moana for the little rascals. The last thing you need in these critical 30 minutes of whipping your life into shape is your kids whining for mac n cheese and setting up pony jumping courses in your living room. A little screen time won’t kill ‘em.
4:32 pm: Enact the mad dash house pick up. Grab a laundry basket and run room by room throwing things in that don’t belong where they are scattered. Throw the fast food kid lunch meal toys away (because they have more parts than any other toy you’ve ever seen and random pieces will haunt you for months!). Shove everything into available spaces. Do NOT stress about an organized playroom. Aka those stuffed animals can live in the same basket as those blocks, Mama. Just let it go. Those toys will be out again within 10 hours. #notworthit
4:45 pm: Ditch the stank. Brush your teeth. Change those clothes. Spritz some Vicky Secret. Put on some earrings or whatever makes you feel less like a jungle gym and more like the sexy Mama you are!
4:49 pm: Referee the fight. Inevitably the younger rascal slaps the older one. Both start crying. Calm them down by reminding them that fun (aka Daddy) is on the way!
4:50 pm: Wipe down the counter and the table and the wall. I swear, kids have a way of spreading snacks EVERYWHERE. It is like their main mission to get peanut butter on every surface of the house. Have you ever come home from a long day ready to relax, only to sit in a sticky chair? Not cool.
4:55 pm: Pour that bottle of essential oils into the diffuser. You have no idea if they actually do anything, but they sure do make the house smell nice!
4:56 pm: Throw frozen chicken in a bowl of hot water. Whoops. You forgot again to prepare for dinner at 12:00 pm like you promised you would start doing. No fear! Thank heavens for that water heater. While your chicken is thawing, throw broccoli in a glass bowl with some salt, butter, and water, cover it with plastic wrap and shove it in the microwave. Gosh, I love microwaves.
5:00 pm: Toss all the dishes in the dishwasher. Silently thank the dishwasher manufacturer for creating such a wonderful machine that can magically make your dishes sparkle with minimal effort.
By the time hubby walks in you are cooking up chicken and broccoli (you’re so healthy! 😉 ) and ready to enjoy a glass of vino.
He compliments you on how the house looks so nice.
Mama, you’re doing better than you think. <3